I have recently discovered that when I quit smoking, I did something far more worthy of note. I didn’t just quit smoking. I cured myself of a chronic disease that kills millions according to the University of Kansas. This was led by a professor named Edward Ellerbeck and his cabaña boy ass squadron of researchers. I suspect since none of them are mentioned by name, that they were nothing more than a bunch of ass-kissing interns who were colonically positioning themselves to be a part of this amazing discovery.
This is what happens when you have large groups of assholes (usually college students and teachers) who are bored and, desperately want to be relevant. They do not do anything except make ridiculous claims. People will believe it because they trade under the banner of their education and degrees.
I have quit before while I was in the Navy. I went to boot camp, and the first thing they took before they took our dignity was our cigarettes. For the entire 8 weeks would you like to know how many times I wanted, craved, thought about or needed a cigarette? Zero. No one mentioned it. It never came up. Why? Smoking is a mental addiction.
The way you make the majority of the people interested in what you have to say, is simple. You tell them something that they want to hear. If I am a smoker I would rather hear that smoking is a disease, and not a habit. I mean if smoking is just a habit then I have to accept that I could just stop doing it. You know “man up and quit!!” On the other hand if smoking is a disease, then it is not put upon me to quit, it is out of my control. I can say to myself, “I can’t help it, I have a disease”. If I can rationalize it that way, it makes it easier to do what I don’t want to stop doing.
In this country you cannot be fired from most jobs because of a disease you have. I wonder how long it would be before I was fired if I were to walk in to work drinking a bottle of liquor while smoking a cigarette. My guess is that I wouldn’t make it ten minutes. I wonder if the same organizations who fight to get these things classified as diseases, would be there defending me. Would all of these touchy feely bureaucrats come to my aid proclaiming that I got fired for having a disease?
Smoking is no more a disease than alcohol, gambling, over eating, cheating on your wife, or beating your kids. They are decisions we make. There is a reason why Cancer, Small Pox, Jaundice, and Diabetes are classified as diseases. You can’t cure them by deciding that you don’t want them anymore.
If you would like to be entertained further, I encourage you to read more Tomisms below
Theory of pants | How to buy a used car | Going out to eat | Dealing with left-overs | The Evil Media | The Only Cure For the Hiccups | Bicycles on the Road | Games /vs/ Television | Leaving Notice | History or Literature. Whats the Difference? | Telemarketers Can Be Fun. | Down, Set, Get a Life. | Smart Money w/Tom Nardone | ADHD is Awesome | I Quit | The Bodily Function Police | Voting? It’s Your Time, Waste it if You Want. | Wer’re Screwed!!! | Don’t Be Ashamed to Shop on Christmas | Are You Sh$@ting Me? | Honestly is the Best Policy For Those With No Creativity. | Attention Bugs, Weeds, Spiders and Snakes! My Yard is Yours. You May Have The Whole Damn Thing. | Drivers Among A##holes | Brody Bricker (read about the exploits of a sociopathic child)