Stupid Things Tom Does
-Tom talks about television characters as if they are his close personal friends
-Tom constantly accuses me of not paying attention to him when he is talking to me (especially about himself) “hello, this is Tom Nardone were talking about.”
-On the rare occasions that we go somewhere, He gets very angry if I ask him to change a shirt that has stains on it. He claims that they are small enough that no one would ever notice anyway. Why do I buy Tom so many plaid shirts? So stains don’t show. He can’t eat without his shirt becoming a napkin. I have actually shopped online looking for some kind of man bib for him to eat with.
-Every year, he manages to trash up my backyard. He sets up all kinds of stupid targets to shoot at and he of course prefers the kind that is destroyed on impact. You know glass, or plastic. Now my son is following Tom’s example with his bow and arrow. See for yourself.
-For those of you that think I might be the greatest wife in the world, because I just let Tom get away with not caring about house or car maintenance: You are mistaken.
-This rant was spawned by me asking him to fix my car.” This is not restful, I’m calling work and asking them to let me work on my vacation.”
-“I can’t find my wallet” or “I can’t find my keys”. This is the story of Tom’s life. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if he wasn’t so dramatic about it. At the moment we were about to leave on vacation, he realized his wallet and key were missing. He shouted that now we weren’t going on vacation and he was going to call work and see if he could go in and just work all week. After about 45 grueling minutes Tom found his wallet. It was sitting under the ottoman where he said he already looked twice. I now confiscate his wallet and keys the night before we go anywhere.
-Damn the cables! I really think that there’s a strong possibility I may die in a house fire due to all of the cords, and cables that power Tom’s excessive collection of man toys. If you have ever seen trunk lines mangled, that would be and accurate description of what Tom’s computer network wiring looks like.