Stupid Things Tom Says

• “If you don’t want to do a job, do it poorly.”

• “That’s ridiculous. You don’t have to cut the grass every week and bagging it is just stupid”

• He won’t go in the back yard. He says “I’M SCARED OF EVERYTHING OUT THERE!”

• “I promise I’ll do it tomorrow as long as you stop talking about it ” (he rarely does it)

• “I don’t know why your internet is not working, mine works perfectly.”

• “Since I saved us $300 by repairing our dishwasher, I get to spend the savings on electronics and games.

• ” He won’t let me drive his stick shift because he says “down shifting while braking is unnecessary wear and tear on the engine”, and then he says. “I will ask James at work about it”.

•  If asked how he fixes or knows things he conceitedly says “because I’m Tom Nardone.” 

• “I will do anything you want to do today, as long as it doesn’t involve me leaving the house.”

• “I have to be back to work in 20 hours, I need to rest.”

• “Never buy any of my clothes anywhere but goodwill.”

• “I like clothes that feel like pajamas.”

• “It’s wrong to make people wear shoes in stores. Publix was way off base kicking me out!”