When You Gotta Go.

Tom Nardone

This is the worst thing in my opinion that happened in Jekyll Island. I still cannot believe that it happened. It was a hot day, I mean HOT. We had been swimming in the ocean for about 3 or 4 hours. Brody told me that he had to go back to the room to take a dump. I was kind of finished swimming for the moment so I went with him. We were half way across the beach when Body told me that he was not interested in walking all the way back to the hotel, just to use the bathroom. I rolled my eyes and kept walking, because I knew that there is not anywhere to go between the beach and the room. I was apparently mistaken.

When we got into the parking lot Brody began checking car doors, checking to see if some unfortunate bastard, for whatever reason left their car door unlocked. Sure enough, he found one. Brody said Tom go stand over there you are not going to want to watch what comes next. I of course, obliged him and walked far enough away to not see any details, but close enough to see what he was doing. Brody put his feet on the front edge of the backseat. He put his hands on the head rests of the front seats. He then squatted and let it fly. When he got finished in the back seat, I noticed he went around to the front seat. I was worried we were going to get caught at this point. I said “Brody what are you doing now!” He calmly said “I am almost done. I have to wipe” He did this by straddling the lip of the front seat, and dragging his ass across it, very much the same way a dog does in the grass. Brody closed up the car, looked at me as if nothing had happened and said “Let’s go swimming.